8 Ways To Handle Conflict
During our first lesson, we learned 8 things we can do if there is a conflict, or an argument with a friend or classmate. We know that not every strategy will work every time, and some won't even make sense to try in some situations, but with 8 ideas we should try three before getting adult help. When kids solve their own conflicts successfully, the conflicts are more likely to stay solved and the students are more likely to feel a greater self-confidence in their ability to recognize and resolve problems in the future. Today was just an introduction, but during the next few weeks we will have opportunities to learn, discuss, observe, and practice each strategy.
We learned actions to go with each strategy to help us remember the strategies.
(Soon a video will be posted to show you the actions).
You can follow through at home by printing the handout below and referencing it when you observe conflict in your home. Even when you have a small conflict (like deciding what movie to watch or which game to play), you can talk out loud about which strategies you prefer to use as an adult!
We learned actions to go with each strategy to help us remember the strategies.
(Soon a video will be posted to show you the actions).
You can follow through at home by printing the handout below and referencing it when you observe conflict in your home. Even when you have a small conflict (like deciding what movie to watch or which game to play), you can talk out loud about which strategies you prefer to use as an adult!
friendship manners
We watched the Howard B. Wigglebottom Manners Matter book online. Click here to check out the website and watch all the Howard B. Wigglebottom books for free!
https://wedolisten.org/media/
We talked about the fact that none of these strategies will work if we are not regularly kind, respectful, and using friendship manners with our peers. Kids don't want to fix problems with someone who is usually rude, hurtful, or negative. towards them.
https://wedolisten.org/media/
We talked about the fact that none of these strategies will work if we are not regularly kind, respectful, and using friendship manners with our peers. Kids don't want to fix problems with someone who is usually rude, hurtful, or negative. towards them.
Talk it out
This strategy is really simple and easy to do. You just have to use your manners and kind voice to tell someone how you feel about something. Then you need to listen while they share their feelings and ideas with you. Simply talking and really listening solves most problems!
Big voice
This strategy should be used when you need someone to know that you are really serious. Your voice should be louder, and stronger but should stay calm. Your body should be standing up straight and look confident. Your eyes should be looking right at the person while you speak. You never threaten or yell, but simply say what you want or need.
Ignore
When I was growing up, my parents and teachers always wanted me to use this strategy! They would tell me to "ignore the person-just don't talk to them." They never really taught me how to do this, though. I mean, I wouldn't talk to the person, but my body would clearly send the message they (usually my sister) were annoying me. In class I modeled the way I used to do it and the correct way. It was kind of funny, but I think I made my point!
Move Away
We saw through examples how moving away can mean a lot of different things! Sometimes just moving your body a tiny, little bit can solve the problem. We might do this during carpet time or while working at our desk/table space. Other times, we need to stand up and actually walk far away from the situation, like moving to a different area of the playground at recess.
Take a break
This conflict handout is used throughout all grades at our school. While the kindergarten students are aware of this strategy and know the action for it, they will not learn to use it until about 2nd grade.
Take Turns
This is another strategy we don't talk much about. Students know how to use this strategy already, with many using it since age 2 or 3 in their homes or day cares. They may need to practice or learn how to negotiate who goes first, but they definitely understand the concept.
Compromise
The students have learned that compromise means to come up with a solution that leaves everyone happy. We start with two different ideas and either smush them together or toss them out and come up with a third option that everyone can agree on. This strategy is Mrs. Wilson's favorite because she says it is all about being creative and having fun. This strategy works well when two people cannot agree on something. It is a tough idea for kindergarten so we supported it with a lot of examples, a book (The Day No One Played Together: A Story About Compromise by Donalisa Helsley), and a short video on youtube.
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Apologize
When we make a mistake (which we ALL do!) we can attempt to correct things by appropriately and genuinely apologizing to the other person. We talked about how important it is to have all parts of an apology: saying sorry, saying what you are sorry for, and then committing to do something different next time (or how you will change it or fix it for next time).
During our final lesson on conflict, the students had the opportunity to act out some of these strategies and guess which strategies were being used. They were encouraged to try at least a few of these ideas first before getting an adult's help because kids are often more able to resolve their own conflicts than they think.